Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
