I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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