STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
