I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
