DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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