It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
