Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
