you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
