i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
