I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We need a shit load of segways right now
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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