haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
