i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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