My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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