that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
