Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
foreskin is a definite game changer
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
