I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
