maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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