She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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