What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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