Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
