I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
