you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
