I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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