I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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