rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
