Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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