just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
