we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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