No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
