I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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