I can tuck mytits in my pants
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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