About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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