If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
