Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
