Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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