Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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