butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
