Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
