I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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