Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
