are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
