If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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