I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
