I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
