Where is the hickey?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
