the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
