yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
