Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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