Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
