wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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